Itsara

A lot of things are returning to normal. Pan came back from her village today after being gone for over a month. We’re all really, really glad to see her again. Nathan let her hold him when she came in the door. Isaac ran circles around her with his mouth gaping. Lutiya has been following her around all day (as much as Pan will allow, anyway).

Lutiya returns to school on Thursday, Pan next Monday. That means we have to start getting up early again, but it also means lunch will be a quieter affair (as quiet as any meal can be with two 2-year-olds) and we don’t have to worry about Lutiya being bored all day. Ah, I remember those days: when I dreaded school starting and at the same time was thankful for something to do.

Sean and Prang get back on Friday. I’m going to have to start telling Isaac and Nathan so they can get excited about it too. I know how hard it is to come back after a month. I can only imagine the readjustment they will require before home is home again.

Of course, not everything is returning to normal. After the initial shock upon receiving the news, Sandra has actually been handling it rather well. Talking to her mom about living in the US, and learning information about the school she’ll attend there, has helped her deal with it a lot.

I know I’m having a hard time. I try not to think about it, which means I’m not dealing with it. When I do, my reaction depends on what Sandra’s doing. If she’s misbehaving, I struggle with being present as a parent while my mind is saying, “Just let it go. It’s only a couple more weeks.” If she’s being her sweet self, then I just get really sad. Either way, I don’t like it.

With her school year ending, it also means real summer break for Cindy and me. We’ll still have Isaac and Nathan all day, but we’ll also have more time than we know what to do with. Actually that’s not true; we know exactly what to do. I’ll write. Cindy will take Thai and dance and teach. What will be hard is cutting back on that stuff when we get more kids.