Itsara

Last time, I mentioned Mike Guglielmucci’s big lie. Our pastor made a great point about it this week, though. It’s so easy for us to condemn those who sin in big ways like this, especially when we ourselves never have. The thing is, it is not our place to condemn. It is certainly our job to point out sin and call for repentance, and as a church I think we’re really good at that. What we’re not any good at is accepting those who repent after something like this. We don’t know how forgive someone we can no longer trust, but Jesus didn’t give us any options to not forgive.

Lest we think there might be exceptions for extreme cases, look at King David – a supreme pillar of faith, mentioned as such throughout the Bible, beginning to end. Yet the man lusted after another man’s wife, abused his position as king to sleep with her, lied to her husband, and then killed him when he was too upright to accept the lie. That’s not the only thing he did, but it’s easily among the worst – not to mention worse than what most of us, or our modern fallen priests and pastors, have ever done.

God punished him for it, yet he also used it for good. He didn’t kill David or Bathsheba. He didn’t remove David from kingship or the blessing of the Messiah via his lineage. He even allowed Bathsheba’s second son to become, not just the next king, but the richest and wisest king who ever lived. If that doesn’t say that God still loves the guy, then I don’t know what does.

And that’s the problem – we don’t love. We’re really good at rules and rewards and punishments and marketing and manipulating and judging and condemning, but we suck at forgiveness. In order to forgive someone, you have to love them. In my own struggles with this, I’ve learned that it is possible to love someone you don’t completely trust. In this job, I have to punish-yet-love every single day. If I don’t love, then the punishments only serve to drive my kids further away – they do more harm than good. At the same time I know better than to leave money lying around, you know?

So with Mike G, and other pastors like him who have made big mistakes, we need to give them room for repentance and, when they do, forgive and love as if nothing happened to breach the relationship.

Though I would ask for a second opinion if he says he’s dying again.

At the church we go to, I learned this great song about faith in the midst of terrible struggles. It’s called “Healer”, and it’s a fairly major Hillsong hit. Here’s an excerpt:

I believe you’re my healer.
I believe you are all I need.
I believe you’re my portion.
I believe you’re more than enough for me.
Jesus, you’re all I need.

Nothing is impossible for you.
You hold my world in your hands.

I was even more blown away when I found out that the song was written by a guy who had terminal cancer. Now that’s some amazing faith!

Then I found out he made the whole thing up.

Why would someone do this? Money? Fame? And why would a worship leader do this? I wonder if he thought people would forget about the song, or maybe he could say “I’m healed!” after a while and throw a big party. I bet he didn’t think it would get as big as it did, but who knows?

I don’t understand people like this. People who live a lie. I can understand lying to hide sins, though it takes a bold (or cowardly) man to do it for a long time, but an intentional lie? In my mind it falls into the same category as atheist theologians, or students who go to seminary because it’s a good career path. It’s like they’re missing the point. Our pastor likes to tell the story of the conference he spoke at where over 300 pastors gave their lives to Christ for the first time. That’s just sad.

And it’s a good song. Can we still worship with it? Does the heart of the writer taint the song? I don’t think so. Some of my greatest worship experiences have been with “Bring Me to Life“, despite what Evanescence says about the song’s meaning. What matters is the heart of the worshiper, not the songmaker. Unfortunately, the Lie is all I can think of now when I hear the song. Maybe one day I’ll forget about it, but for the now the song is tainted in my own heart.

What’s worse, I can’t get it out of my head.

Alaypa was not able to go back to his home village, as I reported last week. The family that took care of him before us has moved on in order to find work. He still does not want to stay with us, so he is temporarily staying at the church of the woman who brought him to us. He will probably stay there through the end of the semester (early October), and we don’t know where he will go after that.

We’ve seen him a couple of times since then. It’s been weird – kinda like breaking up with a girlfriend. Nobody’s really sure how to act. We met with his teachers, because they didn’t understand what was going on, and I think everyone (the adults at least) feels better after having talked with each other.

Otherwise, everything is more or less normal here. We miss him, and life goes on. We teach, we work, we play, we plant, and we teach.

In the last post, I asked you to pray for Alaypa. I think that’s the first time I’ve directly mentioned the problems we’ve had with him on this blog, but these problems have been ongoing. I don’t always talk about them here because this is a public space and not everything belongs here.

At the same time it is my job to inform you of news about our work and our family. So I’m sad to report that Alaypa has gone back to his home village. This was not an easy decision for us, and actually it was mostly his decision. He was not happy here, and he would not accept us as anything, not even basic providers (though he accepted the provision readily enough).

This is easier for our family, but I don’t know if it’s better for him. I hope it is, but there will always be that nagging doubt that we could’ve done more. Though the more I think on it, the more I think there was no more to be done.

He may come back. We left that up to him as well. Regardless of whether he accepted us as parents, we have accepted him as our son, as much as we are humanly able. That doesn’t change.

Sandra and Matt have come back from the States, and life is slowly returning to what it was. Except that we’re now at the new houses, Abbotts and Heines living next to each other, so it will never really be what it was. It’s better.

Sandra is doing half-days with homeschool, and she’s been doing very well so far. Matt is enjoying the last vestiges of his summer before he returns to school next week. And Isaac’s adjusting to a pattern where Mom and Dad can’t always take him outside whenever he wants. He’s getting used to it.

Pan and Lutiya continue to do well. Pan, being a teenager, mostly keeps to herself but is always kind and respectful. Lutiya has her grumpy moments, but they pass quickly with her, and in a short while she’s kind and playful again.

You can be praying for Alaypa. Over the last few months, he has gradually become more resistant to our authority. He has a lot of pride and tends to see things how he wants to see them. This is fairly typical for a teenager, I guess, but his approach to our family is making life difficult for himself and everyone around him.

Isaac has been learning at an amazing rate. He understands a lot of what we say now (the words, if not always the context), and has a few words of his own to say. He’s always talked a lot, but now he’s starting to use some of the same words we do.

Sean is working outside a lot, planting trees and vegetables and doing other stuff around our houses and a landscaping business outside. He and Prang have been spending most of their time taking care of the four kids from our friends’ children’s home. Cindy has been teaching dance after school, and I’ve been writing and hearing from agents (though nothing good yet).

And I think that’s our lives in a nutshell.

STATUS
Recently Read: Civil War, Mark Millar and Steve McNiven
Currently Reading: Making Money, Terry Pratchett
Writing: Air Pirates, Chapter 11
Last Played: Ticket to Ride
Isaac’s Most Articulate Words: “Mommy”, “Daddy”, “Ball”, “น้ำ“, “Doggy”