Itsara

The last couple of weeks have been really busy. Cindy played guitar at a conference for some missions organization a couple of weeks ago, and last week I was playing bass for our church’s conference. Meanwhile, Pan, Alaypa, and Lutiya are out of school for their summer, so they’re home most of the time, while simultaneously we need to homeschool Sandra and take Pan out for testing and applying at different colleges.*

Cindy and I have also been attending some seminars regarding raising kids in foster homes or orphanages. Mostly the seminars have been dealing with what happens to a child when they don’t receive the love they need as an infant and toddler. Essentially, a child who isn’t loved right will have significant problems relating to anyone – either receiving or giving love – as they grow older. This can often result in attachment disorder or oppositional defiance, both of which we have seen in some of our kids.

Some of our kids have attached, or begun to attach, to us, which is extremely encouraging. Others want to attach sometimes, but have an extremely hard time doing so. And there are the kids who have no interest in attaching at all. These are the hardest. The only thing we can do is spend time with them and love them, but spending time with them is difficult because they really don’t want to, and loving them is even harder. We realized recently that when we think of what we can do to love somebody, we usually think of things that they would enjoy. But what do you do when the one you’re trying to love literally hates anything you do for them? It’s not a matter of finding the right thing – their whole concept of love is broken. The only thing we can do, that we know of, is to keep showing them love even though they hate it, and persevere and keep praying that it will break through to them someday.

This is what Jesus meant when he said to love our enemies. I think there are very few of us who really understand this, and I’m only beginning to. My kids are not my enemies, but sometimes in their mind I am theirs, and I still need to love them though they resent it. It just has to be the very hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

STATUS
Recently Read: Neverwhere, Neil Gaiman
Currently Reading: Ghost Force, Patrick Robinson
Writing: Tales of Dark Water, outlining (when I get the chance)
Last Played: Ghosts
A Word from Isaac: “Dadoo” (it means doggie)

*Thailand does education a little different. Standard education goes up to 9th grade. After that one can go to trade school, vocational school, or college. Here, “college” is different from “university” which is what we normally think of as post-high school education. Pan plans on going to university after three years of college so she can be a teacher.