Itsara

This is what I get for being all proud of myself. Lutiya’s teacher wanted to talk to me today about, among other things, why I wrote zero Baht for making merit (I didn’t know Lutiya was going to turn the form in, but that’s beside the point now).

I told her more or less what I said (though with less cheek) – that our family is Christian and we believe that we don’t have to make merit anymore because of Jesus. She was tough, though. She said, “Well, it’s not really money for the temple. Some of it is money for the poor, some of it is money to help out local schools, etc. Christians give money to the poor, don’t they?”

Oy. What do I do with that? I wavered for a bit, and even now I’m only 75% sure I did the right thing. In the end I said no, and that I didn’t feel good about it, and that’s the truth. Thinking about it now, I realize I would’ve been giving money so that I (or maybe Christianity) looked good to her, and that’s not really a good reason. In fact, the desire to look good to people is a terrible reason. Plus (and this is my American* mind at work) the form I was signing didn’t say anything about helping the poor, and in fact the line in question said, “I agree to make merit for ______ Baht”. I just couldn’t give money for that purpose and put my signature to it.

In true Thai fashion, she said “It’s okay, you don’t have to,” when she saw I was standing firm (though “standing firm” is really too strong a term for what I was actually feeling). She said Christianity was a “hard” religion. I’m still not sure if that’s a good or bad thing.

The really rough thing for me in this is not how I am seen. I’m a foreigner and a Christian in a Buddhist land, and really that’s what I signed up for. I worry just a little more about Cindy; Lutiya’s teacher was surprised to hear that Cindy was a Christian too and even said, though not unkindly, “Oh, so she’s not a real Thai?” But I worry most for Lutiya. Honestly, the form was for the parents and had nothing to do with her, but even so, I sincerely hope that she doesn’t have to take any flak for this. Or at least, if she does, I pray it makes her stronger in faith and not resentful of me or, worse, of Jesus.

*You may not realize it, but the American culture is very law-oriented compared to other cultures. We’re all lawyers at heart, and we’re trained to be so from an early age.

The kids brought home forms from school. Apparently next week is a special Buddhist holiday celebrating the official start of the rainy season, and they wanted to know how much money I wanted to give to the local temples to “make merit”. Making merit is something the Buddhists frequently do in many different ways. It’s a lot like working your way to heaven.

I asked the kids, if was going to give nothing do I have to return the forms? They said I didn’t, and I told them if the teacher asks why I’m not making any merit, tell them that Jesus already made it.

It is now Day 4 of my Dark Summer with about 12 to go. It hasn’t been that bad I guess. I mean, the house is still standing, nobody’s starved yet, and the kids are at school… I think. Cindy and Isaac are both fine to my knowledge. Cindy says that being on a mom schedule has completely eliminated the problem of jet lag.

There’s not much to do here during the day, but somehow the time disappears anyway until I get the kids. Matt’s been home some of the time, and we have been working our way through Cowboy Bebop. Otherwise my time has been mostly split between website programming and subcreation. It’s weird. I thought I would do a little bit of everything each day, but it turns out I don’t work like that. I tend to get absorbed in one thing to the point where I forget to eat lunch and nearly forget to pick up the kids. Then the next day I get absorbed in something entirely different. And even stranger is I don’t feel like I’m getting a lot done – not as much as I think I should anyway.

I’ll tell you this, though. I’ve been having a great time with Pan, Alaypa, and Lutiya. I don’t know why, but they’ve just been opening up to me the last couple of days. It’s been fun, but it makes me long to be fluent in Thai. My listening sucks. I guess the only way I’ll get better is if they keep talking to me though.

On Monday, Cindy has decided to leave me and go to America, and she’s taking our son with her. So if you Californians suddenly feel full of inexplicable hope and joy and laughter over the next two weeks, or if you notice a disproportionate amount of sadness and despair from me, know that it is because all joy has left this place. They have taken an airplane to bring happiness and mirth to those who don’t have it (maybe you think you already have it, but if so then you haven’t met my son yet).

Sandra is also currently in the States visiting her mom, so I’ll be here alone with the remaining four kids. I plan on spending my days waking up in a stupor, barely managing to get the Thai kids to school, then moping around the house for hours trying to find a reason for living before I have to pick them up from school again. After that I’ll struggle through their homework, make a dinner of plain rice and toast, and finally cry myself to sleep in preparation for another day. When Cindy returns it will be to unwashed, under-fed, ragged-clothed children, but boy will they be happy to see her.

Cindy and Isaac, on the other hand, will enjoy two fun-filled weeks of relaxing and fine-dining in one of the world’s most luxurious and expensive travel destinations. The worst part is that I know she won’t take advantage of the availability of carne asada burritos as much as she should… as much as I would.

Most of her time will be spent with her family, I think, but I think she plans on making it down to San Diego for at least one weekend. So if you only go to Coast every once in a while, make sure you get there the next couple of Sundays. Trust me, that boy is worth it.

One of the gifts I received from the mission team was unexpected and unique. The Star Wars Prequel Trilogy Emended Edition. Whether purposely or not, this set of movies is an answer to an old request – one I thought I would never see. The back of the Emended Edition’s cover details the story of a man who, like many of us, discovered that George Lucas may not have been the genius we all took him to be, but he saw hope:

In 2005, following the release of Episode III, a visionary editor realizing that there was yet much to like in these films, conceived of a revolutionary idea: cut the crap. And in 2007, he set about his task. Working with the mind as a combat doctor who cuts away necrotic tissue in order to save a life, he edited the prequel trilogy with enthusiastic vigor. Could these films be made to be good? He didn’t know. But what he did know is that they could at least be made not bad. Which is to say, there should be nothing in these films that will make your eyes roll. Or at least… very little.

On an inner sleeve, he details everything that he cut or edited. The overall product is very well put-together and the result is precisely as the excerpt says: not bad. In some places, it’s even pretty cool. (more…)

The last couple of weeks have been real interesting in our suddenly-large family. We’ve learned about a number of things some of our children have done without our knowledge. Fortunately not all our children are untrustworthy, and the ones that are are easily caught (it helps that we ask God to “let them get caught”). I’d like to tell you more, but I can’t because some of the children read this occasionally. Suffice to say that I’ve laid down a lot of consequences this past week, and the children in question have not been very happy with it. One in particular… well, it surprised us to find out that they were up to anything, but now they are learning that the rules apply to them as well. I don’t think they like it. I’ll tell you though, I didn’t like finding out that they were taking our trust for granted, so I don’t pity them much.

Anyway, that, coupled with the team leaving, has made these some trying days. There have been joys, though. Today and tomorrow Cindy and I have gotten another break with Matt and Sandra at a youth camp. We spent today eating snacks we won’t let the kids have and watching a very special edition of the Star Wars prequel trilogy (I’ll tell you about that later, I’m sure).

There was another joy yesterday too. Pan was maturely telling on someone (meaning that she didn’t want to tell, but she knew it was best for the family that we know about it). We told her she was right to tell us and encouraged her about how happy we are she’s in this family and prayed for her. Afterwards she was real quiet and tried to look like she wasn’t wiping away a tear. I honestly had no idea what she was feeling, but Cindy asked her if she was happy to be in this family. Of course she said she was. I say of course because, really, it’s the polite thing to say. I don’t know very many Thais who would have answered no to that question. So while I was happy to hear it, I honestly didn’t give her answer much weight. Cindy must have felt the same way because she asked, “Really?” Pan’s answer convinced me and encouraged me tremendously. “Jing,” she said. “Deejai mak mak.” Yeah, I’m really, really happy!

The next upcoming trial, other than assigning and enforcing consequences, is my visa extension. I have to do it before next Saturday. It should go okay, but I know Sean had a little trouble. This’ll be my first extension since the coup, and on top of that my passport expires this year sometime. I hope they can look past those things. I’ll bring Isaac. He always helps.

Oh, and happy Treason Day. I guess there’s some big deal down at the US Consulate, and I think the youth camp has fireworks, but we just went out to KFC with our Thai kids. So, hooray for the USA and their virus-like expansion into Asian society which allows me to have Kentucky fried chicken and French fries thousands of miles from home.

Hm, that didn’t come out as celebratory as I thought.