Touched
I had the BEST experience of my life a few weeks ago. I hope it encourages you.
I was complaining to God (for the millionth time) about not being able to see Him, touch Him, or hear Him. I longed for Him to be real like the way Adam is real. I sometimes don’t feel close to Him because I don’t feel His touch and can’t see Him. I wanted so much to talk to Him and be able to look at Him and know He’s there. That day, I was feeling pretty lonely and sad about moving to Thailand and not having many close friends here. I knew God was always around, so I asked Him to be real.
That night, God gave me this amazing vision: An intensely bright object came towards me. It was so blinding that I was scared beyond belief. I yelled to it, “Who are you?” and it answered, “The Holy Spirit”. I didn’t know what to do, so I tried to hide. Then, in my fear, He came close to me and began to hug me and touch me. The feeling was so good, so refreshing, and so real. I had never before felt that much love and goodness all over me. It satisfied my soul more than I ever knew possible. I started to think about Adam and about all the friends that I missed, and I realized so clearly that none of these things mattered at all anymore. I was loved by GOD and that was the only thing I needed. I really knew it!
After years of praying for Him to be real, He gave me this vision. But I realize that through all those years, He has been real the entire time. This was a wonderful experience, and I will forever be blessed by it, but I know He didn’t take all those years to answer my prayers. He’s always been real, but I usually don’t notice. Sometimes I wish He would be real in the ways that I want, but He just does whatever He wants to do, and that’s okay. I think if we ask Him and pay attention, we’ll see signs of His presence every single moment of every day. Experiences like this one are great, but I don’t need them to prove His presence.
(But, if God wants to bless me with more of these visions, no complaints here!)
Cindy, you are not alone. So many times I feel very lonely even though I am still here in the US. Years ago I heard someone say that “Abba Father” is the same as “daddy” in our language. This is the “Abba, Father” in Galatians 6:4 “Because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!”". When I feel that sense of loneliness I simply say, “daddy, can I crawl into your lap and feel your arms around me?” And I can feel those loving arms holding me tight as I feel myself crawl into His lap and the loneliness disappears.
Cindy, that’s amazing. Praise God for this. I’m so happy for you.
-Matt
Hi Cindy,
I was just surfing the Vineyard aggregator and bumped into your site. Your post brought me joy. I’ve been in that spot as well. I was reading in ‘Listening Prayer’ by Leanne Payne this morning of that very issue with us “moderns” as she affectionately calls us - the split between the head and the heart. She encourages us to continually pour our hearts and desires out to Him looking up and out of ourselves to the Cross, to His ever present…Presence. I was just reminded that HE even says, “And lo, I AM with you always” and not “you will feel ME always.” But the thing is, the more I look continually up and out of myself, the more I am *aware* of His Presence daily, moment by moment. That awareness is like feeling Him, but better, bigger and deeper.
God Bless you with MORE of His ever present Presence, Cindy. Thanks for sharing the Life within your heart.
Not that anyone really cares, but I thought I’d mention that this is Itsara’s 100th post :-)
Wohoo happy 100′th post!!!
Cindy you would not believe the joy I expereinced reading your post. May you become even more blessed to see and hear more from the holy spirit. Not to be based off of experience alone but off of relationship. I sense that he wants to grow those types of relational moments w/ you. May that grow and may your joy know no bounds and your lonliness fade. Jah loves you.
pay
Cindy that’s awesome, and really encouraging.
I’ll take therapists for 800.