Itsara

Okay, technically this should not be in the Thailand category, but since I don’t have a larger “Southeast Asia” category, into Thailand it goes! Most of the team from Coast is here (the rest get here in less than an hour) and we just spent the last few days in Laos. Unfortunately, I still don’t have enough Internet to get my pictures up (but rest assured, I have high hopes for our connections in Hawaii in just a few short days!). Let’s see what I can write here before someone tells me I have to leave for somewhere. (more…)

I don’t have much time, nor much Internet (see this comment), but I’ll let you know what’s going on.

Tomorrow the team from Coast is coming. We’re definitely excited about this, though Sean and I have both discovered a kind of irrational introvert fear to the idea of 25 people we haven’t seen in a couple of months coming over. But then everytime we think of specific individuals, the fear goes away and we’re excited again. So I’m sure it’ll be good.

In a couple of days, we’ll be going to Laos with the team. Pray for all of us. Laos doesn’t like missionaries.

For the few days that we will be in Chiang Mai with the team, we’ll be going to Im Jai with them (or rather, they with us). We’re not sure what all those people are going to do with all those kids, but hopefully the kids will enjoy it and their schedule won’t be disrupted too much :-)

Then, at the end of the month, Cindy and Sean and I leave for Bangkok and from there to Hawaii with my family for two weeks. We’re definitely looking forward to this. Pray that we won’t forget all the Thai we’ve learned (i.e. that we’re willing and able to practice).

Hopefully in Hawaii I’ll have a better Internet connection (or at least afterwards) and I can upload some of these pictures I’ve been sitting on along with whatever gets taken in the next couple of weeks. Pray for God’s will to be done and God’s voice to be heard - both for us and for all those who are coming (as I know many of them are coming seeking God’s will for their lives, just as we did a year ago).

We are learning about God’s amazing provision to those who rely on Him. When we came here, we didn’t know where we were going to stay. We figured we’d stay at Mountain View until we found some more permanent place to stay. It has turned out that God had different plans for us. These pictures are from our new place. I’ll get to that in a bit.

Before we got here, we were offered a place to stay by friends of a friend. We thought we were going to be able to stay there for a month, but when we arrived we discovered the place was far nicer than anything we would have hoped for and we learned that we would be able to stay for at least two months, not one.

We looked for a place to rent more long term. At first we did not find any because none fell within our budget or were not what we wanted. Later, we began to be convicted that we should be waiting on God for everything, including where He would want us to stay. After further prayer, when I asked God where and when we should move, I felt like He told me, “Stay here and don’t worry about it.”

Within a week or two, friends we had met here told us of a house that needed sitting for June and July. We thought we weren’t going to be able to do it because we’re going to Laos and Hawaii, but they said they could find someone to handle the times we wouldn’t be there (and later Dave and Sheila, our former gracious hosts, said they would do it). So now, after two months of living in a great place with a built-in community for cheap, we have moved into this new place that’s even nicer and is free for two months.

Each day I’m more convinced that this is what God’s provision looks like. Had we moved to a place that made sense practically, we would not have been able to live where we have been. There is no doubt in my mind that by the end of August God will have shown us where we are to live next. In fact, we think He’s been telling us other new things about the future, but I’ll have to save those for another post - maybe when we’re more sure.

Listen.
Don’t Speak.
Hear.
Don’t think.

See the face of the confused.
See the face of the misled youth.
Look close and you will see.
The inner child you want to be.

Hear the voice of the abused.
Hear the cries of the misled youth.
Listen close they need an ear.
Don’t speak they don’t want to hear.

Listen.
Don’t Speak.
Hear.
Don’t think

I had the BEST experience of my life a few weeks ago. I hope it encourages you.

I was complaining to God (for the millionth time) about not being able to see Him, touch Him, or hear Him. I longed for Him to be real like the way Adam is real. I sometimes don’t feel close to Him because I don’t feel His touch and can’t see Him. I wanted so much to talk to Him and be able to look at Him and know He’s there. That day, I was feeling pretty lonely and sad about moving to Thailand and not having many close friends here. I knew God was always around, so I asked Him to be real.

That night, God gave me this amazing vision: An intensely bright object came towards me. It was so blinding that I was scared beyond belief. I yelled to it, “Who are you?” and it answered, “The Holy Spirit”. I didn’t know what to do, so I tried to hide. Then, in my fear, He came close to me and began to hug me and touch me. The feeling was so good, so refreshing, and so real. I had never before felt that much love and goodness all over me. It satisfied my soul more than I ever knew possible. I started to think about Adam and about all the friends that I missed, and I realized so clearly that none of these things mattered at all anymore. I was loved by GOD and that was the only thing I needed. I really knew it!

After years of praying for Him to be real, He gave me this vision. But I realize that through all those years, He has been real the entire time. This was a wonderful experience, and I will forever be blessed by it, but I know He didn’t take all those years to answer my prayers. He’s always been real, but I usually don’t notice. Sometimes I wish He would be real in the ways that I want, but He just does whatever He wants to do, and that’s okay. I think if we ask Him and pay attention, we’ll see signs of His presence every single moment of every day. Experiences like this one are great, but I don’t need them to prove His presence.

(But, if God wants to bless me with more of these visions, no complaints here!)

Last Sunday night at Im Jai, a storm took the power out and Cindy and I were the only adults there. But the kids took care of themselves and I, with my lack of knowledge of how Im Jai works and total lack of language skills, felt pretty much useless. I just stood by and watched as some of the older kids got the rest of them inside the house and the kids got candles and matches and lit up the room.

It was really hard at the time, but God was teaching me humility (I suppose it’s impossible to learn humility the easy way). He was teaching me that I have nothing to give these kids. I cannot just walk into Thailand and change their lives. I know God has called me to be a father, even a father to many, but I guess part of that word went to my head and I thought I could do it on my own.

In all humility, I must look to God and Him alone for what He wants me to do at Im Jai, and if I want to help the kids then all I can do is pray and ask God if there’s anything I can do to help. I do not ask because He needs me, but because I want to be included. He has been taking care of His orphans (who are not really orphans for they have a Father) long before I even knew where Thailand was, and He’ll take care of them whether I’m here or not. He didn’t call me here because He needed me. He called me here because I need Him.