It Feels Like Dying
I believe there is an idea that God has written into the source code of humanity. It is repeated in our books and movies and even in history itself. It is embodied in the Resurrection; it is the idea that a great good requires death to bring it about. This idea is repeated, in different forms, throughout humanity - when Gandalf becomes the White Wizard, when Neo becomes The One, when the phoenix rises from the ashes, when Israel journeys from slavery to the promised land. The idea of new life coming through death is as old as God.
Jesus said that whoever believes in Him would live, even though they died. He said that whoever lost their life for His sake would save it. He said that whoever would follow Him must take up their cross - the instrument of their own death. He said, “I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.”
So when I say that saying goodbye today to everybody we know and love feels like dying, I don’t mean that it feels like the end of our lives, I mean that it feels like something we must go through so that the abundant life Jesus promised can happen.
In the Fall, trees give the appearance of dying. Throughout Winter they appear dead. In Spring there is new life. This week may feel like Winter but next week will be the first day of Spring. This clearly is God’s way of doing things and His ways are always best.
What you wrote reminds me of a qoute I read recently from an interview with Eugene Peterson. He was commenting on the book of Mark and how there is an emphasis on showing us what life is and then knowing you have it, learning to die. Peterson says “And as you learn how to die, you start losing all your illusions, and start being capable now of true intimacy and love.” As you leave people here and go to Thailand you are learning about personal sacrifice in dying to many of your comforts and the physical closeness of your community. In knowing there is a sense of loss as you embrace the many things God has for all of you in Thailand, I think you go there a little more selfless and a little more dependent on God and in that lacking you are even more aware that you are going in most rightness of heart.
I just had a post on my blog trying understand the paradox of that principle. The question must be asked how can life come from death? THe answer is Jesus but that still doesnt make any sense.
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